I have followed to the best of my ability and I cant get a ship to show up
Welcome to the club.
When you import ships and nothing shows up, you should find some clues about the issue with two main tools: the console window (~ key) and the se.log file (in your SpaceEngine/system/ folder). There should be some warnings or error lines describing what's the problem.
You should be warned also that there are some 3d models around the net that seem awesome, yet they fail the SE import phase because of defects in the shape so they need to be modified with a 3d editor like Blender or 3d studio or whatever.
Then there's the materials struggle. You need to edit manually the material file resulting from a conversion (.sml) to make sure it's pointing correctly to the textures, or your model will not show up.
Is blender the best program to use? I noticed in the se thread what appeared to be a much easier export box
Where is that? As long as it has the equivalent exporting features as shown in the manual, it could work.
And at that point I am still not getting a sm file out of it
Then your .obj or .mtl files are missing or not in addons/models/spacecraft/ and addons/textures/spacecraft/ folders respectively.
Look, it's not that you're a noob as you put it, it's complicated indeed.
Personally I don't think a video guide it's feasible at this point. It's a process that's mostly never right the first time you import a model, depending by the original material you find, and very time consuming if well done. Even if someone would be so heroic to do that video, it's guaranteed most people would respond with "I followed the video but it doesn't work".
Try not to vent your frustration in lengthy posts with tons of issues at a time, you need to describe specifically where you're stuck, using the manual as reference.